sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
