Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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