Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
