Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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