Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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