failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
