You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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