Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
