The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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