the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
