I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this will be a night to untag.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
