It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Blood and glitter go together right?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
