You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
