dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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