The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
