using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drunk is not a location!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize