He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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