Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
