Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I met the friendliest cop last night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
