i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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