I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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