The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
