yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
