coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize