remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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