she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
