What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
