Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize