I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I love black thongs
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
