We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
