so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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