He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
