I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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