guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize