Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
