drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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