This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
