I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
