i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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