Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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