Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
