we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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