Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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