he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
