I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
