New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
