we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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