What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
