people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize