Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
