I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
