Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
