I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your cock deserves a montage
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
