Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
