I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
