Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
