I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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