Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Bang-toberfest begins!!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
