id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
