I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
