ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
