mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
