i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
