he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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