Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
