Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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