let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
