She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
