At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize